Monday, July 20, 2009

Ups, Downs, and All Arounds...

Definitions - Ups: that which I am happy or otherwise feeling well about; Downs: that which I am upset or angry or just plain frustrated about; All Arounds: as in where I have been this past weekend!
UPS: I am infinitely overjoyed at having all four of my children together again. While it was great having a honeymoon sans ninos, my house and my heart have been missing the chaos. My heart actually leaped at the mild banter between Lena and BB as they reasserted their place in the family ranks. My sweet BB has changed so much in the last two months. She has begun to "blossom" requiring the purchase of a few bras for her, heels and chocolate for me (this nine-year-old is taller than my eyebrows now). I believe that Brandon, especially, is grateful to have his sister back. I think he missed her most of all. I wish I had a great big beanbag to flop on with all my children on it to cuddle.
DOWNS: In retrieving BB from Texas, I was required to meet with my ex-husband, Jason and his wife Celeste. While I have lived a wonderful life without his presence, he feels the need as of late to try to cram himself into mine. Mostly I think his need to visit with BB only came about when I got engaged to Daddy and he realized that there was a far better man than him being the daddy for our little girl. Many people ask me if I wish he were dead for what he put me and BB through and I surprise them and say no. I agree that there were several incidents where one might wish he were dead, a few where if I had fought back it would have been self-defense, but as many who work with abused women know - I was fearful that any fighting would just be "kicking the beehive" for worse punishment. So there I was sitting in a Denny's on Fort Hood Road sipping on a root bear at 8am with my husband on one side and my ex-husband on the other listening to him and his wife argue in Spanish while his son played video games and BB got reacquainted with her sister, Lena. He promised BB that he would take her to Six Flags and Sea World, broken - they didn't go, which is why we were getting her Saturday morning instead of Sunday so that once again we could keep a promise made by the absent (-minded) parent. He promised that he would get her military ID renewed as it had expired a few months ago, broken - which will now require that I take an entire day off from work to travel 2.5 hours to the nearest military instillation, sit in line, explain for the up-teenth time that I have sole custody, show my wrinkled and dusty divorce papers, wait to be called up, get her picture taken, wait for it to be processed and then drive 2.5 hours back home. Oh! And that's after I wait for him to mail back the expired ID. She was wearing clothes that Jason bought for her which were too tight for my innocent baby to wear, but after seeing his wife I know why. Don't get me wrong, I don't really know the young lady and honestly she seemed nice enough. But her clothes looked like they were painted on because every roll showed and her pants left little to the imagination. If she'd been I guy, you would've been able to tell if he was circumcised or not! I'll admit I'm definitely no skinnie-minnie, but I do know what not to wear. If we were friends, I get an intervention from Stacy and Clinton on TLC for her. While I'm sure that no permanent damage has been done, it won't be easy to get BB to give up what little her father has given her. He was also very rude about why he bought clothes and tennis shoes for her, saying the items she came with (bought by my mom) were inappropriate to such an active girl. Really he could've just not said anything. There were other thing she did at which I am miffed, but I shall save them for an ex rant post. In any event, her visit is over and I don't foresee another one on the horizon after various misgivings on this visit.
AND ALL AROUND: I, and I'm sure Daddy, would love it if we could avoid spending anymore time in the car! We spent Thursday leaving from work to Grandma/Grandpa's to drop off B-Boy and Josie and then driving back. Return time - 11:30pm. Friday we left for Ft. Hood, Texas at 6:30pm right after work. A bad storm had us pulled over in a picnic area for an hour. We arrived in the Denny's parking lot at 5am Saturday morning. We discovered that having a van is a blessing on long trips by saving us from spending money on a hotel room which was only going to be used for two hours. We just pulled down the backseat into the floor storage, dropped down a thick comforter, placed two pillows and pulled a blanket over us - Instant Bed! After sleeping for an hour and a half, we woke, got dressed and went into Denny's for some breakfast. After byes, we drove to San Antonio for a day of fun (and rain) at Six Flags Fiesta Texas. Then we spent a pleasant night in our hotel room and left after breakfast to pick up Josie and B-Boy in Alamogordo. Finally we made it to our home in Roswell, NM just before midnight on Sunday.
A bit of a whirlwind excursion, but well worth it to have all my babies back home!

Monday, July 13, 2009

The Start of Something Big?

Here it is. No, this is not my wedding cake. I promise to blog about my wedding soon now that I have found a way to upload my pictures. This is the wedding cake I made for a dear friend of mine as her gift from me. This wedding cake was quoted to her by a bakery in our town at $700! So you could say I gave her a $700 gift (snicker with glee). I won't say this cake wasn't alot of work. It was. But it was also a joy which made it not seem like any work at all. It was also practice for a possible BIG venture. When I made my wedding cake, a beautiful but small one for my small wedding, I was immediately asked to make one for the young lady who caught my bouquet (her wedding was this morning and I'm delivering her cake this evening, pics to come). Upon my return from my honeymoon, another friend told me how beautiful my cake was and how did it taste. My reply was to bring her a sample of the cake. She loved it! So I was asked if I could make her cake and how much/what did she need to buy, she already had the stand you see here. I didn't ask her for anything, as my gift to her, I would purchase the necessary items. My payment came this past Saturday night at her reception.

My friend "S" didn't cry during her wedding. She didn't cry during the vows. She didn't cry during the kiss. She didn't even cry during the father-daughter dance. My friend "S" only cried when she took a look at her cake, gave me a big huge hug and told me "Thank you! It's so beautiful! I don't want to cut it!" Which, being the sentimental fool lately, turned on the taps to my own waterworks and we both had to grab napkins to avoid the raccoon-look that runny mascara would bring. That was my payment, the joy on my bride's face, and I will hold that in my heart forever.

Now the decision is on me to develop my own side endeavour of creating affordable wedding cakes. So far, I haven't done anything fancy. But they are beautiful and I am happy to do them. I have met a few people in the weeks since my wedding who are willing to help me advertise my own business of wedding cakes, I have only to create business cards and a web page of my work. It is something I can do on my own time, keeping the day-job I love, and I can schedule only as many cakes as I can do without overwhelming myself. With four kids, that's important. But most of all, it is something I can create and learn from, keeping my mind young and my fingers nimble.

Okay, I can't resist. Here are pics of my wedding cake (these are from my camera).

I loved the Cinderella carriage.

Monday, July 6, 2009

My ex-husband is a TURKEY!!!!!

My ex-husband has set a new definition for cruelty and pig-headed-ness. This afternoon I missed a phone call from my ex-husband's phone and then received the voice-mail. The timid voice on the line stated she was BB and she'd had an accident but it was taken care of, bye mom, I love you.
Naturally, my heart began pounding and the various mommy-versions of "accident" raced through my mind as I dialed my phone frantically to return the call.
My ex answered the phone:
Ex: "You didn't tell me about BB on long trips and needing to go to the bathroom!"
Me: "Um, that's every kid." (Especially knowing this was a 12 hour trip)
Ex: "Well, MY kid isn't like that!" (Hasn't he been pointing out BB is his kid?)
Me: "Okay, well let me talk to her."
Ex: "I already took care of it, twice!"
Me: "Just let me talk to her."
BB: "Hi, Mom." (Ex in the background telling her to tell me "what she did"
Me: "Hi baby, heard you had a potty accident."
BB: "Yes, twice. But we changed my clothes and I'm okay now."
Me: "Well remember, sweetie. This isn't Mommy and Daddy you're with. This "daddy" doesn't know you like we do. So if you have a drink, the next town you see, ask to empty out just in case because he's not going to remember to ask you if you have to go."
BB: "Okay mommy."
Me: "Okay BB, be safe, I love you."
BB: "I love you too mom!"
So here I sit fuming and contemplating running to Ft. Hood, Texas to get my little girl back from an asshole! Seriously! This crap coming from a man who has spent much less than the six years his son (not to mention the ten years his daughter) has been alive actually practicing parenthood! Your normal child will need the restroom eight to ten time in a 24 hour period if they are properly hydrated - less if they are sweating. In a 12 hour drive, this means at least 4 times. And what about the emotional damage for her? She's already feeling pretty embarrassed and upset about having the accident twice, then he's comparing her to his accident-free (and possibly dehydrated) six year old AND making her call her mother to admit her mistake so that he can somehow turn it into the mother's fault!?! Ugh! In my fuming, I completely forgot to ask BB what she had for breakfast. Because if he gave her regular milk with her cereal, that would be the reason for the bladder accidents, which is clearly typed out on the Medical Procedure handout I gave him with the power of attorney. I'll ask her tonight, because if that's the case, then he owes both of us a HUGE apology. I'm seriously doubting a second visit.