Friday, January 30, 2009


I have been charged with Aiding and Abetting MDA with the intent of helping area residents with Muscular Dystrophy.
I will be locked-up on February 12th, 2009 at 12:00 pm at the International UFO Museum, and yes, you may feel free to come take my mug-shot.
Bail has been set at $1600.00 and I desperately need every- and any- ones help. This is my first year of participation in the lock-up and I want to do my very best for Jerry's Kids, but I can't do it alone. Every dollar counts and no amount is too large or too small. Contributions can be made by check, cash, or credit card and also on my personal homepage with the secure MDA website:
Our contribution to this great cause is also tax deductible and I can send you a receipt.
Thank you for your consideration.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Of Mice and Irony

We were visiting Daddy's sister and her family in Aztec, NM for the weekend. Being the three day weekend coinciding with Daddy's birthday, that was my gift to him- to get him to his sister's house come hell or high water. Luckily we ran into neither hell nor high water. Instead we ran into our old friend Irony.

We have a 26 year old niece who owns a snake named Vlad. Vlad, is seems, was in need of food. Food in the form of a live mouse. Which reminded me of a story:

When I was in my twenties, I had my own pet snake named Sning. She was named that because she loved to curl around my fingers just like a character in a novel by my favorite writer, Piers Anthony. The name was short for SNake rING. Eventually, she too became big enough for a live mouse as food. During one excursion for mice, I made a trip with my parents to Las Cruces as all the pet stores in my hometown were either closed or didn't have any mice of the right size. I went to the pet store where I got my mice during the school semesters and picked out three "hoppers" - mice around a week old. On the trip back home, I felt something furry crawling across my lap and SCREAMED! All three mice had gotten out of the box and were somewhere in my mother's car. In the end, we only found two. One died somewhere in the upholstery and smelled up the car for months and then every time it got really New Mexico hot.

I told this story to Daddy's sister and her daughter because it was funny. Little did I know history was about to repeat itself. I took my niece for a day out, just us girls. Our first stop was to pick up a mouse for Vlad. We'd discussed stopping by her apartment to feed him before heading back out to town since I had left my purse and we had to go back to her mom's house anyways. Well, we picked up the purse....and went to the mall, completely forgetting the mouse. Ate some lunch, which we needed to get our brains working (we should've done first), did a little shopping and headed out of the mall. First thing my niece says as we bask in the warm New Mexico winter weather is: "We still have the mouse in the car!!!" Both of us hurried to the car and she looked at the box. Her heart did a little leap as she saw the box was still in one piece until she lifted it up and it was a little too light. Turning to the other side of the box, she discover a small hole and no mouse. We searched the car, while I laughed the entire time and commented that at least the mouse wouldn't starve because of all the pretzels, Goldfish, etc. my kids have all over the floor. No luck. I sheepishly called Daddy and asked him if he remembered the mouse/car story - yes, he did. "Well, honey. I did it again" I could totally hear his sister laughing in the background while he told me to come home and we would find it. We had to go back to the pet store for another mouse in case we didn't find the one in the car and Vlad couldn't go hungry. We even discussed how we would explain to the clerk why we were back for another mouse. ("We got home and started the sacrifice but it didn't work. Come to find out that mouse wasn't even a virgin." We laughed at that but then decided to go with the truth because we didn't want to scare folks) We got another mouse, they offered to sell us a very small carrying case at $14.00 but I told the clerk I'd just have my niece recycle a spaghetti sauce jar. Then we girls decided we needed to catch the mouse so we headed to Wal-Mart and got a couple of humane traps because I wasn't going to have that thing die in my car. Got to the house and set the traps with peanut butter, might as well give the thing salmonella, too. The next morning, success! One slightly frozen but still alive mouse was in one of the traps ready to thaw out and be fed to Vlad.
One of Daddy's co-worker laughed that we'd gotten humane traps to keep the mouse alive just so we could escort it to it's death at the jaws of Vlad. Mice and Irony, yep, that just how we roll!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

The nice way of saying, "You're an idiot!"

Part of my mild insanity (work with me people, m-i-l-d, and don't tell me any different), is dealing with my soon-to-be-hubby's ex wife, The Big B. This the the woman who is the biological mother of two of my little girls, Lena and Josie. Josie is the one who's genes come from The Big B and Daddy, Lena has genes from The Big B and ?. But their hearts are beating happily in my home and that's really all I care about, they are happy and safe with us in my home. The only thing is that I'm a very nice person by nature, my nickname when I worked at Walt DisneyWorld was "smiley", and because of that "niceness" I try my best to get their mother to be a part of their lives. As a mom, I just can't understand how she can give her kids away at the drop of a hat to whomever will take them as she has done several times. Perhaps understand is the wrong word, I am intelligent enough to understand that she does it, I guess I can't comprehend why a mother who claims she loves her children and wants them back would do so little to make that a reality. Between early February and November 12th of last year she didn't even bother to see the children even when she knew we were moving out of town. OK, so on to the point. I understand that she is not going to win any mother of the year awards, and I can give her credit for trying, but I'm practically tearing out my hair trying to comprehend. The Big B gave Lena a book and let her buy another one during their visit on the 10th. The one Lena bought is called something like "Circling Three Time and Laying Down". I didn't think much of it at first because it has a picture of a dog on it and I figured it was about a dog. Reading to me is a wonderful way to pass the time and I love it. So I sat on the couch two days ago and Lena's book was on the table so I picked it up and read the cover. It's about a twice divorced woman's dog's views on life, love, and sex. I'm not one to approve of censorship, but I do know about what's considered age-appropriate, and this was not age-appropriate for my 11 year old. Or at least, not without mommy reading it first to see just how much sex was in the book (I'll give everyone an update later). I very nicely explained to Lena why I was temporarily taking the book away until I could absorb it's content and determine if it was age-appropriate. She said she'd just "skip the sex parts". I trust my daughter, but I must remember she's on the verge of teenage-hood and "skipping the sex parts" just sounds like too much temptation mixed with too much curiosity. So she tells me, "My mother also gave me another book that I can read instead." I asked her what book was it? "Something about a Geisha." I WANTED TO SCREAM!!! But I calmly said, "Memoirs of a Geisha?" She went to her room to get the book, and upon her bouncy return down the hall, I immediately recognized the cover of the latest printing (the movie poster) of Memoirs of a Geisha. Again, I WANTED TO SCREAM, but knowing I can't because it is not this child fault. I wanted to scream to her mother, The Big B, that she's an idiot. I gently explained to this 11 year old young lady that while we have discussed the birds and the bees, this book was alot more explicit and not appropriate for her age. I LOVE THIS CHILD, she completely understood and proceeded to begin reading Inkheart, bearing me no grudge or a moody attitude. Rarely do I speak to her b-mom, it use to give me heartburn and make me lose my appetite, and I do not actively try to call her as it is not my job to make her be a "mom" to her kids (that's what I told her lawyer when he asked why I didn't call her to make her visit her children). Last night, she called, and as Lena was out with Daddy picking up some dinner, I answered the phone. Having had a couple of days to ruminate over the situation, I very nicely told her I wanted to discuss the book choices. I asked if she had read Memoirs of a Geisha and she hesitantly said yes (I doubt this because it is a paperback without reading creases in the spine or any give to the pages, you paperback readers know what I'm talking about). I explained to her that while I had discussed the "birds and the bees" to Lena I didn't think she was old enough yet for books talking about selling virginity to the highest bidder or selling sex in general. I recommended that she read the covers of the books she was either buying for or letting Lena buy for their appropriateness for an 11-year old. Try the tween section or give me a call. (I did not call her an idiot and though I'm sure she didn't pick up that I thought she was an idiot, I at least felt better that I had "called" her an idiot in my own way) She said she would and the rest of the call went nicely and I handed the phone over to Josie. When Lena came home she was able to talk to her mother who proceeded to tell her that she couldn't have read the books anyways because it was too complicated. Lena nearly reads at an 11th grade level, reads books that I read in High School Literature, and I've even given her some of my college literature books to read as well (content approved). Lena's feelings were hurt that her mother thought she was unable to read the books because of intellect. I smoothed the ruffled feathers of my little bird and explained that her mother couldn't realize that this little bird could already fly because she'd tucked her head under her wing to avoid dealing with her baby birds. The metaphor amused her and she happily read away at Inkheart.

Friday, January 2, 2009

IT'S A GIRL!!!!!

After 3 1/2 years of labor, we are finally proud to announce that we officially have a new "baby" girl! As of 12:03, Wednesday, December 31st, weighing 105lbs and aged 11 1/2 years, Arlaena (Lena) is now considered to be our daughter. As his last case before retiring, our judge made it a point to get it finished so that our daughter could finally have some stability in her life.
Finishing this case has made me realize something deeply profound. I never needed the court to give me vindication. Sure, hearing that Daddy had been awarded Kinship Guardianship and the court saw me a a fully operating step-mother (even without a marriage license), was great, but it didn't really change anything I already knew in my heart. I'm this little girl's mommy, she calls me her mommy, I act like her mommy and we never use "step". But I've been thinking, even if we hadn't "won", I'd still be this little girl's mommy regardless and she'd be my daughter. Becoming a mommy to her began nearly four years ago and truely touched my heart the first time she looked up as me, the raccoon costume I'd hand-sewed for her in her arms, and told me, "I love you mommy." My heart grew that day and I was her mommy.
I thought having a court would change everything, but all it did was make me realize that I didn't need anyone to tell me I was this little girls mommy. My world was already changed.