When we made the decision to move to Roswell, I'll admit I was scared. I believe I even blogged about my fear. Today I rejoice in the fact that it was a great decision. I have grown as a mother, wife, and most recently as myself in the year and a half that we have been here.
I'm more confident in mothering because I'm not constantly worried about if my mom would've done something different knowing she'll hear about it when the kids arrive at her house after school. Not that I don't still have my mom's voice in the back of my mind giving advice, but I've been forced to make the decisions without her being only five minutes away to ask her advice. I've even managed to buy a few clothes without her opinion, something I hadn't really done since my internship in Florida back in '96! I've even cut my hair twice, dyed it once, and made my first purse purchase without asking my mom to go with me and give her opinion. Believe me folks when I say that's a BIG deal.
My new role as wife isn't too much different now than what it was before I made Daddy an honest man. "Discussions" are fewer but tend to be more intense as we continue to learn each other. I'm trying to make sure my husband knows I love him and how proud of him I am for his accomplishments. It isn't easy as he tends to be terribly hard on himself and takes any downfall personally. His moods, depression, anger at himself and misdirection of frustration can be very trying. Being the shield between him and the children at those times really takes a toll on me, both in heart and energy. He also gets very frustrated waiting for answers about my health from my doctors, but we've found one who shares his frustration because HIS wife is going through a similar lack of diagnosis. Daddy seems to be more patient, though I do have to remind him not to take out his frustrations on the children. He really is a better parent than when we first began this journey.
I have made my return to the theatre! Woo Hoo! It has been nine years since the last production I've been in. That is unless you count my continuous role of "mom" in the production called "Parenting, or How Nurturing a Parasitic Organism for 9 Months can lead to Insanity." The Roswell Community Little Theatre is producing "The Money in Uncle George's Suitcase" and I play one of his nieces who is a bit of a snob (so unlike me) who, with her con-artist husband and most of the other family members, turns into a money hungry monster. I'm having a blast in rehearsals. Last week we rehearsed the scene where I've fallen into a tub of earthworms and come running on stage screaming! Last night was the scene where I'm swallowed by the couch! Once I have my lines memorized, I'll be able to work on the dramatics more. The rest of the cast is wonderful, so many different, fun, friendly people. Our director and another lady are in The Enchanters ladies choir and asked me to join.
The Enchanters sing a'capella harmony and I have been welcomed with open arms. Excepting, perhaps, the director's daughter, I'm the youngest person there... and I'm 35! The Enchanters have been around for 30 years and several of the ladies have been there for the entire history. I love to be there watching and listening to the group harass and chide each other like old friends do. They are all of an age where they just tell it like it is but no one's feelings get hurt. My sides still hurt from laughing so much Monday night!
From on the heels of the invite from The Enchanters.... I was asked this past Sunday to join the choir at our church. When I was 18, my confirmation teacher told me that my talents were a gift from God and that it is only right to give back to God and his church. So how do you tell the church that you can't because you're too busy with other things? YOU DON'T! While I really can't take another evening rehearsal because that would be very unfair to Daddy, they did let me know that I could come to rehearse the hour before church. Since I'm already going to be there for church, being there an hour earlier is not a problem. Even better? I can bring the girls with me since they are all fledgling vocalists themselves! So that only leaves Daddy with our son to wrangle in the pew on Sundays.
Roswell, New Mexico..... I think I've found my place in the world.