Junk in her trunk?

My sweet BB, who never gets in any trouble at school, has gotten into trouble twice in two weeks. Usually if the school calls about Lena or Josie my immediate response to the caller is, "What did she do now?" If they call about BB it's, "Is she ok?" because I only get called for her if she is sick or hurt. Apparently those days of mommy innocence are over. I got a call from her teacher last week because she was losing lunch recess for three days. Apparently, there was a boy she was playing tag with who said to her as she ran by, "You've got alot of junk in your trunk!" Um, excuse me, but that's my (nine-year-old skinny as a toothpick) baby you're talking about. BB's response was to try to get this boy to shut up by shoving a stick into his mouth but first she pinned him to the ground. You have no idea how hard it was not to bust up laughing when she told me this. Or perhaps you do as everyone including Daddy, Brandi and Grandpa laughed their asses off! It seems only the teacher and Grandma find this to be a very serious matter. Grandpa even stated, "My baby girl doesn't take sh*t from anyone!" The second time she was under her desk during a lesson drawing on the floor with a red crayon. The teacher made her stay in for recess to clean it up and sent a letter home to be signed by a parent. I had no idea about it until the teacher called me at work to inform me that BB had forged my signature. I told the teacher (and I really did say this), "If I tell her Grandma this she'll laugh at me and tell me I got a child just like me." Yes, I will admit it! In fifth grade I forged my mother's name on a letter home about not doing my homework - in fact, I did it several times but only got caught when I tried too late in the middle of the night to sign it and it didn't come out as well at the others. At least I was very close to my mother's signature and spelled her name correctly. BB signed my name in just barely learned it cursive and spelled Cristnie. So we had a parent-teacher-student conference the next morning and determined that she was being teased by another girl relentlessly and harshly and BB was trying to find anyway to escape which led to her being under her desk drawing and forging my name to avoid losing recess to be with other children. The solution: BB will immediately tell a teacher whenever this girl teases her and start visiting the school counselor, her teacher will have her tested for the gifted program because she is very intelligent, the counselor will have a talk with the other girl and her parents, I will continue to be the supportive mom. Conclusion: pin down a boy + commit forgery = gifted program.